Saturday, November 30, 2013

Creature Feature Classics: Blackenstein

I Know This Is Creature Feature Classics Post But This Creature Feature Is Definitely No Classic. It's Actually In My Top 10 Of The Worst Movies Ever Made. It Gives The Term "Blaxploitation" A Bad Name. It's The Quite Possibly The Worst Frankenstein Movie Ever Made. Yes It's Called Blackenstein!

After American International Pictures Had A Hit With "Blacula" Of Course, In The Great Tradition Of Exploitation, Someone Had To Make "Blackenstein". Unfortunately It wasn't AIP That Produced This "Classic". To Say This Movie Was Cheaply Made Is An Understatement. Yes, There Is A Castle With The Props From The Original Frankenstein Movie Lab. The Lead Actor John Hart (Dr. Stein) Did Actually Play The Lone Ranger After The Original Actor Clayton Moore Left The Show. Actress Andrea King Was In "The Beast With Five Fingers" With Peter Lorre. And "Actress" Liz Renay Was Notorious For Being A Gangster's "Moll" And Being In A John Waters Movie (Desperate Living). Those Are The High Points Of This Jaw Slackening Cinematic Mess, It Get's Even Worse When The Monster Actually Appears.


The Storyline Involves A Young Female Doctor Winifred (Ivory Stone) Who Seeks Out Dr. Stein To Help Her Boyfriend Eddie (Joe De Sue) Who Lost His Legs And Arms In Vietnam. Dr. Stein Has Just Won The Nobel Prize For Cracking The DNA Code And Has Found A Way To Regenerate Limbs Through His Experiments. Needless To Say He Is Able To Give Eddie His Limbs Back But Due To The Doctors Jealous Servant Who Is Jilted By Winifred, Eddie Is Given The Wrong Meds And Becomes The Blackenstein Monster. Blackenstein Then Escapes, Hits The Town Murdering The Locals In Their Homes, At Lovers Lane And At The Local Bar/Comedy Club.

Even Though This Plot Might Seem Amusing,
Like A Wacked Out Eerie Publications Comic Book Story, Its So Badly Produced, Shot And Edited That It's Not Even Worth Checking Out Unless You Really Want To See One Of The Worst Of The Worst Movies Ever Made. Plan Nine From Outer Space Is Like Citizen Kane Compared To This. 

Blackenstein is On Netflix Streaming If You Dare Check It Out. The DVD Released By Xenon Looks No Better Than the Old VHS Which Was Pretty Bad To Begin With, But Even A Nice DVD Transfer Couldn't Help This Clunker. It Might Even Make It Worse If Thats Possible.  

And Check Out Slow Robot A Go Go 
Episode 97 For Our Blackenstein Podcast
Coming Soon! 

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